Complement Not Complete

Found this draft I never posted. I wrote it May 2, 2011, but it still seems worth posting so here it is:

A while ago the Pastor at my church did a sermon series on relationships. I just happened to hear something today that reminded me of something he said that has stuck with me, “God designed men & women to complement each other, not complete each other.”

I really like that statement. It reminds me that our identity, value, self-worth, etc. must come first from knowing that we are a child created in the image of God. This is the only way we can feel complete. If we don’t start there, then we set ourselves up for hardship.

Inevitably, the people we love will let us down, disappoint us, and even hurt us. If we are honest, we will do the same to those we love. I know I have. I have hurt those closest to me, because of my own selfishness. Getting past this is not easy, because it’s unnatural for us to think of others first. It’s hard for us to rely only on God, and it’s hard not to seek fulfillment from people and things in our world.

I know cognitively what am I supposed to do to fix this in my life. I have been a pastor, I have taught about this, and talked with people about it a lot. Even with all that knowledge, practically I fail at this, but I don’t know why. So I’m praying. I’m asking God to change me, to help me know and feel that He is enough for me, to help me think of others before myself, and to forgive and forget when someone wrongs me. I’m praying that God makes me more like Jesus everyday.

I know I’m not saying anything new or profound, but maybe you can relate, maybe you can say, “me too.” If that’s the case, I ask that you would pray for me, and I would love to pray for you as well.

Our world would be so much different if we would all learn this simple principle that Jesus taught us; to Love God with all that we are, and Love others the same way. I can’t wait for Heaven when that is a reality!

Thanks for reading my blog. May God richly bless you as you seek to follow Him and do His will.

Youth Pastor Down...

Found this draft of a blog I wrote back last summer, but I never posted. From July 2011:

I just need to get this off my mind and what better way than on my blog that very few people read. Anyways, I love youth ministry and I love to network, encourage, and help other youth pastors. Lately many of my friends in youth ministry seem to be getting beat up. By who? The leadership of their churches (i.e. Senior Pastors, Executive Pastors, Elders, Deacons, Parents, etc.).

I hate it that many of my friends in youth ministry are treated so badly by the leadership of the churches they work for. Honestly, it breaks my heart. I believe this poor treatment of youth pastors is the reason for the high turnover rate of youth pastors at most churches. This is an epidemic in churches today.

Many youth pastors are treated like second rate, junior varsity pastors. They are often overworked, underpaid, under resourced, and under appreciated. Yet they persevere, because they love letting God use them to change the lives of middle and high school kids forever.

I know several youth pastors who have quit from a church, are very close to that point, or have been let go. The sad part is that most of the time this has nothing do with their youth ministry itself. Most of them are doing a great job, they are seeing numerical and spiritual growth. However, they have quit or are close to quitting, because they are being treated poorly by the leadership of the church. Too often there are unwritten and unspoken expectations of youth pastors that they get hassled about. Many times people in leadership don't have their youth pastor's back.

I can tell you from experience, that their job is stressful enough with out that kind of crap. It's truly heart breaking how many of my friends in youth ministry have struggles with their church leadership.

If you are reading this and have a youth pastor at your church (especially if you are a parent with kids in the youth ministry) please treat them well. If you can help them please do, they need it! Support them, care for them, and pray for them, encourage your church leadership to do the same.

If you are a pastor/ elder/ church leader and happen to read this, remember that your youth pastor also needs to be pastored, mentored, loved, and cared for, just like anyone else in your church. Remember that God calls us to be faithful to Him first, our families second, and everything else (including our job/ ministry/ role on church staff) after that.

We really need to treat youth pastors better in the church, and then more of them would stick around long term which is better for them, your church, and the Kingdom! Think about it...

Thanks for reading. May God bless you as you seek to do His will!